working on set

Friendly competition or toxic atmosphere?

Friendly competition or toxic  atmosphere?

Since the start of this year, I have worked on 7 film sets that are not university related. While I am so grateful for the experiences that they have given me, it is always playing in the back of my mind that the ratio between women:men working behind the camera is something similar to 1:5 and I find that ratio balance both motivational but concerning.

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Women behind camera…

Working hard to gain the skills

Working hard to show your worth

You still get those men That 

think you’re just there for their pleasure.

You think they are interested in your talent

And you get your hopes up thinking you’re going to make something of yourself

But then they move in for this kiss

They move in for that touch

As soon as they say

“You’re a nice girl”

You realise just exactly What they were after.

They want to get down your throat and they want to get in your bed

They don’t need to say it because you can hear it in their head.

You can hear in their actions

They aren’t just after your talent or skill

They are just wondering if you are on the pill.

A bit of harmless fun

A bit of meaningless sex

But they don’t realise that you’re trying your hardest just to be the fucking best.

All they see is a girl that they think looks really fucking hot

And they don’t even care if that’s not

Something that you’re after.

Because all you are wanting is a chance to show you can do that job better

Than anyone out there, even if it’s a man. Because god knows they wouldn’t be there if your name was Stan.

The difference positive experience makes

The difference positive experience makes

I am an aspiring cinematographer, and I like to think that I am pretty good at it at this point in my life. Yes, I have much to learn but that all comes with the more hands on experience I get. In the space of a week, I had two different experiences whilst doing the same job. One of which could have made me never want to work in film again, and the other giving me confidence and motivation to continue towards my goals.

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